by Anna Laskowska | Jun 27, 2021
Whatever I am going to write today is going to be relevant and important no matter the time or the date because what I am going to describe here will be repeating itself. As a side note, my ego at some point had a very bad relationship with repetition. It thought that repeating oneself was ridiculous and useless in some sense. Well, now thankfully I have changed that and my being fully integrated to honor the motion of reiteration in ways I will try to do my best to describe here.
This has happened many times already, and as this spiritual phenomenon keeps on taking place, it never gets old. So, this is how we are being upgraded by the ascension energies coming to Earth.
We are being balanced and healed through light codes, through light energy which increase our awareness and make the ones who are chosen and ready for it more sensitive to their pain and suffering. The energy of light descends upon us, and it penetrates our energetic body. During this process we tend to experience what I would describe as temporary enlightenment, the potential energy we can align ourselves with. Through this illuminating divine intervention, suddenly, and very distinctly, we realize that everything about us is being enhanced: any kind of suffering is being wiped out of our system and we just sit in awe appreciating love, peace and wisdom which inhibit our physical senses, as well as emotional and intellectual perceptions. We are powerfully connected to the present moment and we perceive ourselves and everything else as whole, beautiful and worthy. What a delightful state of being that is. Depending on what specific upgrade is being installed, the sensations can vary.
I’ve had a privilege of noticing and experiencing many, however, the most recent one was as if new sort of unconditional love I’ve never got a chance to feel, was being poured into my heart and was spilling, deliciously filling every corner of my being. At a later time, after many weeks of connecting to and purging pain, the very loving sensations permanently populated my being. That moment felt like achieving unprecedented victory. It was a long-awaited and simultaneously unexpected moment that had to be taken all in and celebrated by fully feeling it. I stopped whatever I was doing to allow myself to feel the superb ecstasy.
Quite frankly, this is the part that everyone is looking forward to, the enlightenment!!! This is the very moment I am looking forward to as well, because in that state I can be and do it all. Creativity, productivity, energy, these are the goodies we all want, these are the goodies we are all praising – the super human potential providing luminous abundance.
But what happens after isn’t usually spoken enough. Somehow the next phase is hugely disregarded, and even when I want to write about it, I am postponing it. I have been postponing it throughout this entire day, and even now, instead of describing it in the very beginning of this post, I am a bit apprehensive about it. In fact, I promised myself that this post would be 400 words long and at this point I am 61 past my set limit, and yet I haven’t mentioned a word about what I was supposed to write about initially.
The part that keeps on constantly coming back, and I am so reluctant to write about, is the part associated with our fragmentation. Shortly after the light fills our being, we are becoming aware of the pieces of ourselves that are painful, weak and hold us back from another, higher form of fulfillment. It feels as if we had reached the top, and quickly tumbled down all the way to the bottom. From a superb connection to the present moment where all the best in us and outside of us was enhanced and beamed with light, we fall into a dark pit. The light is being turned off and we are surrounded with darkness. We only make a connection with the painful parts that remain in us, adding to it, even our surroundings hurt immensely. Not only do we detect nothingness which blinds our potential, but our inner resources that make us interact with the world – all of them are gone, and in their place, lower vibrations are beginning to seep through. Fear steps in and even the friendliest soul is being temporarily deemed as frightful. In hindsight, being at the bottom, alone and stripped away from everything is not that really horrible comparing it to an additional nightmarish feeling of non stop standing at the edge of a dark cliff and knowing that any second some movement could push you into the abyss. This was at least my experience. Whenever you think things couldn’t get worse, the inevitable does come your way. This was difficult to get through.
I know that this is just a brief description of a complex experience. Living it is another thing. Surviving it in solitude without numbing it as well is also something remarkable. One day love beams through you and another day you have to allow whatever was obstructing that love to thrive in you die. And that process of being aware of your painful aspects dying, is awful. To be alive, yet at the same time allow some parts of you die, was the most challenging undertaking I was ever faced with.
I have been through this process many times and after a great many trials of the dark night, when its effects began to loosen up, I emerged from it with a strength which allowed me to have an upper hand over my or anyone else’s suffering. Receiving strength which doesn’t bow or isn’t consumed or contaminated by pain, is in fact one of the highest achievements I am immensely grateful for.
by Anna Laskowska | Jun 25, 2021
Last night was the Full Moon, and as usually this occurrence has a tendency to bring out in us abilities, ways of being and feelings which we are completely unaware of.
The case is that we exist being oblivious about ourselves. And now, perhaps more intensely than ever, through pain we are awakening to our full potential. Every month the cycles of the moon give us an opportunity to peal another level of our unconsciousness. We are offered a chance to integrate another piece of our fragmented selves into the whole. And when one attunes themselves to this specific process, when the moon is fully lit, something extraordinary can be observed on the inside that manifests itself in the physical plane.
Depending on a specific phase of awakening you are in, you might notice different reactions. Sometimes when the moon is full people act out of the ordinary, and if they don’t act out the pain, there is a profound transformation transpiring on the inside.
If you are deeply rooted in spirituality, if you are extremely sensitive and you do pay attention to what is happening to your inner being, the internal processes can be quite uncomfortable and overwhelming in the beginning. However, when you dig into the very core of yourself and persevere enough, you are able to spot fascinating processes.
When you are eagerly invested into the feeling sphere, you feel every single detail happening inside of you. Usually, the influence of the Full Moon can be felt even a few days before. Therefore, the Full Moon can do many things, yet it usually has the tendency to either bring out your heavy-duty unprocessed emotions or like in other cases, completely and temporarily immobilize you so you could look within.
It is as if your entire world came to a full stop ,and a shorter version of the dark night of the soul so to speak has fallen upon you again. And this unexpected disconnection from the external forces ask you to focus on what is within once again.
You feel the inner tumult. The desperation shows up again and that feeling of not knowing of who you are and what you are supposed to do, how to go about life. All these uncomfortable sensations are supposed to spark the upcoming energetic release, letting go of another part of you that still suffers.
When this was happening again to me last night, I really thought to myself that another round of letting go is too much and completely unnecessary. I was reluctant to go there. I was wondering what else was there to release. However, when something has to leave your system, at that time those answers are not coming, all concentration is on that very pain that has to go or to be integrated. And then, the release comes and you knew that you did let go.
By now I already know what it feels like. And as that part was done, I began to detect another, unexplored yet in my body sensation. Instead of fluidity in motion that was forcing the release, I found myself to be sort of motionless. The complete opposite. If limitation in movement and staying in one place forever was an option, I would definitely take it. I felt like a stone. I sensed that inside of my being, something was being revealed to me, I was showed a dormant block of energy that wasn’t aware of it before. It laid there untouched. Its structure was very solid. I could compare it to a huge brick of gold and that sort of image presented itself to me when I looked at it with my third eye. It was a valuable energy resource which wasn’t utilized by me at all. But I didn’t care about it much, because I was worried about waking up in the early morning. I felt so heavy I wanted to stay in bed indefinitely. Every single piece of my body felt heavy. And when five in the morning struck, and I had to get up and get ready for a gym class, I thought I would not be able to lift the covers because even that seemed impossible. It seemed that my core was stiff due to this solid energy occupying my body.
Through my morning routine I couldn’t get the image of that solid block of energy out of my mind. As I barely dragged my body through a working-out routine which this time apparently was not as enjoyable as it usually can be. In that instant, desiring so much to connect to that sense of joy of exercising that I know I can feel, I had an epiphany. Instead of having that solid energy dictate my fate and weight down on me I realized that I needed to move that solid structure, shake it up, dust it off, utilize this new resource, push myself more to have this golden solid brick of energy move through my entire being and my entire body.
The moment I connected with this intention, my entire energy changed and I entered this magnificent state of aliveness which began to flow through me and out of me. I felt as if my wires were replaced and I was receiving and interacting with life as if I was this brand-new, golden, updated model of myself.
The change it caused in me, is priceless.
This was one of those instances where the movement was necessary in order to get that energy going. However, not always I was guided to do so. Sometimes the releasing process requires more time and staying in place. This is something important to keep in mind. Intuition always plays a key role.
by Anna Laskowska | Jun 23, 2021
Getting back to writing has not been the easiest. I was dreaming about this moment for many years… the moment when the intense releasing would end and everything I have lived through spiritually made sense and I would be given an okay to resume activities that gave me joy once before.
During the dark nights of the soul, when your entire inner existence is spinning inside you, and you are not sure who you are exactly, when you lose touch with yourself and your purpose seems so remote, that is not exactly the ideal moment to begin new endeavors. Because, as you are going through the inner torment, and the strong spiritual winds whirl around, just like in the case of a natural disaster, let’s take a tornado for example, as you stay hidden in shelter, you wonder what you are going to encounter remaining once the occurring calamity ends. The very same applies to a spiritual upgrade. So much has to be taken away from your old identity and be in some sense destroyed so the new you could emerge. Without a doubt it is an emotional shocker. Quite quickly you have to part with what was gone, assimilate the loss and acknowledge whatever you are left with in order to start building yourself again.
Before my process was over, when I would sit down to write, I would see many old strong nagging patterns showing up inside of myself and whispering that it was a futile attempt, that my voice was not worth anything, how could I ever think that expressing myself might have taken me anywhere, it had been a long time since I wrote anything so for that reason too, every word was nonsensical, and most probably there were many grammatical mistakes, that I was too scatterbrained and perhaps dumb to spot them. Let’s see what else? As I was naming every single whisper that was trying to stop me from what I vaguely recalled as my passion, these ridiculous convictions I was calling out, that had kept me enslaved for so long, were almost immediately losing their hold on me as I typed. These days I call them “whispers”, however, they used to be my firm beliefs. As of today, because of my awakening process they have lost its strength and eventually its grip on me.
And that is another proof and a valid observation that spiritual processes do pay off, and they do help you manage and dissolve the darkness that keeps us at bay always with dangerous clouds above us, and never out sailing on deep waters with the sun out.
Today I am realizing something too, and that is how I am supposed to write, not as I, Anna, but rather on behalf of this POWER that I have the potential to distribute and channel to other people. I would like to write about this POWER, the power responsible for balance, for homeostasis of our bodies, our intellect, and emotional well-being. Well, I am not sure if I can say that IT is responsible for the balance of our existence, the most correct way of saying it, would be that this is a SOURCE to which we all can connect to if we choose to. We are the ones responsible for the desire to establish this exceptional connection. It is up to us from what source we are going to get our energy supply. Hopefully humanity will choose the one which enlivens and enriches our lives. We all have the power and the choice to choose. And from what I have experienced so far, some of us are given the possibility of undergoing a profound transformation to always have access to the power govern by equilibrium. The question is if you will accept the invitation.
by Anna Laskowska | Apr 25, 2021
I would have never imagined that this is what I was created to do.
It is a phenomenon, an internal, spiritual process in which a human being is transforming, growing, expanding, learning about yourself and about the external world. Not everyone will be able to relate or confirm that something like that is real, however, once the awakening starts, there isn’t anything that could stop it, or convince you otherwise about the palpability of its existence. Also resisting it means experimenting more pain, and pain is something this process is meant to alleviate.
Just like you cannot stop yourself physically growing into an adult, in the same way you can halt the spiritual awakening. You can try, but it is not recommended.
I am still attempting to wrap my head around how real, how long, how brave and how transformative the processes of awakening are. Years ago, I recall coming across people online who would post videos about getting through their initiation, talking about days or months of their first dark night of the soul, describing episodes of being able to see beyond the physical, tapping into unnoticed before pools of energy, vitality and insight.
Back then, one might have thought that this was it, this single episode of soul tearing or to some, soul enhancing experience, which was nothing like you have ever experienced before, was meant to change everything about your life. You would have never imagined how vast, how detailed and how prolonged the letting go of pain would be.
The past twenty years, in my case at least, have been nothing but paying attention, studying, and analyzing every single process that has occurred within my being. I personally believe, that it was somehow forced upon me to be fully dedicated to understanding the ins and outs of spiritual awakening.
Now, that I have finally processed my share of suffering, and have overcome my weaknesses and shortcomings, I can compare my awakening to the most intensive boot camp there has ever been set on the surface of the planet Earth – this is perhaps what all individuals feel like when they get through the finish line.
Almost every day was dedicated to opening myself to feeling more, tearing up more walls I have built around pain, expanding the ability of detecting more and exhuming deeper emotions. If not mine, then somebody else’s. None my fears could be disregarded. They stood there patiently, waiting for me to face, process, or to understand them as to why they were there, were did they come from, what they were meant to teach me.
The years of healing were hard.
Once you get disconnected from a physical reality, (this should be explained in extraordinary details) what is visible inside you, feels so alive and at the same time devastatingly overwhelming, you are trying very hard to find your old way back home, go back to where you used to be, unawaken, but you cannot. Again, I was learning that this process without a shadow of a doubt cannot be stopped.
So those years were hard because what I have unnecessarily struggled with, was the desire to connect myself back in the same, old way as I used to be. I was trying to find ways to escape from my growth and humbly “live a quiet life”, which to me meant stopping the inner expedition and completely rejecting the spiritual processes that somehow took over and worked through me without any spiritual anesthesia.
As much as I wished to settle in life free of emotional awareness, I wasn’t allowed to. The inner job had to be completed in spite of me wanting to quit at times.
by Anna Laskowska | Feb 28, 2017
Emotions is a topic that people rarely want to discuss for multiple reasons. Because of the new energy that is coming to Earth, whether we want it or not, we are getting more acquainted with our emotional body even though this part of ours was suppressed for thousands of years. Despite a huge initial discomfort associated with feeling, investigating and diving into the field of our emotions, brings incredible benefits when done correctly.
I have heard many unpleasant opinions regarding emotional sensitivity. All of them, however, were coming from a place of fear, only because those individuals never knew how to handle their own strongly charged outbursts. I don’t blame them. After all, we are just beginning to learn how to feel and transmute painful energetic patterns roaming throughout our bodies.
Our thoughts and emotions can be considered as a medium of information which we initially deem as unnecessary because we have no idea how to decipher what our body and mind is trying to communicate. By exploring and learning this vast emotional territory for years, each day convinced me more that emotional intelligence does exist and it actually influences the entirety of our existence by projecting itself externally from within.
So far emotions have been like wild untamed horses. Only with proper training and whispering could we enjoy riding them. Otherwise, it is a dangerous endeavor.
If unattended emotions are different colors of paint; crisscrossing, and zigzagging randomly and freely as they want to on a designated surface, normally creating an undesirable chaos, then underneath the splatter, is the canvas of peace which we never get to feel because of the unresolved and unaddressed traumatic emotional patterns running the show. Being grounded in the sensation of inner peace is essential for maintaining our overall health.
Whenever I would explain it to people in the past, maybe I was not good enough at advertising the importance of achieving peace, so I hope that the situation I am describing below will give you an insight of what peace feels like when it is present in the body.
It is not easy to separate my work from my private life. Doing that would be like disconnecting an arm from the rest of my body at certain times, especially if my extra sensitivity is always alert, in full detection mode. Saying that, that doesn’t mean I go around and tell people what I feel. With time I learned to keep the energetic information to myself unless I am guided to do otherwise.
Here is an example of how spontaneously gratifying and healing peace is when one spends so much time drowning in distress.
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I get to a birthday party around 1:30 in the morning. At the location, at first, the guests followed a regular celebratory routine till 3:00 am, until some folks began to leave, some went to sleep and there were a few of us left. Since alcohol lowers inhibitions, people pour their hearts out, and speak freely about their true feelings. (I don’t drink or need alcohol to express myself.) It is not my custom to stay up that late and put my extrasensory abilities to the test, however, as soon as I started producing excuses, something took over, and barely realizing it, I was tapping into my friend’s energy field who sincerely insisted on helping him.
This man was eagerly looking for upliftment and I couldn’t deny him that. Ditching excuses out, I made the exception and I found myself working at 4:00 in the morning. At that curious time, after being up for countless hours, the brain is perfectly tired and therefore the ego’s defense mechanisms are weakened, so I could quickly and effectively connect him to this delightful state of enlightenment.
During our conversation my friend approached me with frankness, and openly admitted to his fears. He told me how they ran him down to the ground every day; causing him great exhaustion, leaving little time for satisfaction and no energetic resources for any improvements.
His openness and trust gave me permission to step in and show that transformation was easily and immediately possible. I was guided as per usual to ask a few questions and within seconds we were both rapidly immersed in a state of peaceful ecstasy. Peace descended upon us, pushing his anxieties aside. His incessant and loud thoughts stopped; and from his lips I heard a new addition to my creative descriptions:” this is morphine.” Apparently, being in peace feels similar to being sedated by heavy medications – without any side effects of course. All the pains and worries of life dissolved and his “inner being felt as smooth as silk”, according to him.
That night was equally inspiring for both of us. It was another testimony and proof that transformation is possible and worth pursuing. It is incredible that human beings can have access to such a blissful state. We simply have to be willing to be consistent in our spiritual pursuits so the all producing balance could stay for good.
Without realizing it, each day we are given a free will to choose between transmitting a frequency of interference, and making additional steps towards a frequency of morphine – peace.
I hope that this story will get you curious and interested to stop for a few minutes a day and investigate not only your thoughts, but also your feelings. Whisper your wild horses.
