The Requirements of Dark Night of the Soul

I never thought I would ever say that there are different requirements within the processes of the dark night of the soul. In the beginning it was all darkness to me – obscured and painful.

At first, my senses could not distinguish anything else except for those two elements persistently troubling my “soul”.

Being under pressure of prolonged pain and darkness, the initial guidance was to surrender (which isn’t easy) to the unbearable feeling in order to survive it. Denying and putting up resistance was eliciting more pain.

Since this wasn’t my first dark night, from other instances I could already tell when my inner light was being switched off and with that my perspective of the outside world drastically changed for the worse, to simply put it. This time I was disconnected from a sufficient amount of energy required to be productive in any way, and my being was solely focused on the uncomfortable suffering, impossible to disregard by any means. Because of that I was able to observe the processes of the dark night, perhaps unrecognized by me before due to overall shock of what was happening to me back then.

Here are some requirements of the dark night of the soul that will help you ease up the process of awakening.

There were times when my mind was trying to dismiss my discomfort which I quickly came to understand that this maneuver of my ego was placing me in disadvantage, prolonging the already exhausting and confusing undertaking. After a few attempts of trying to disregard what was happening to me, it became obvious that this was the time to participate with the energies of the dark night which my soul was highlighting for me. For that reason, the requirement is to listen to how your mind is trying to intervene to prevent you from feeling. Be aware of the resistance of the mind which will rise up in order to defend its hurtful familiar identity.

Our unresolved traumas are severely weighing on us deep within our unconsciousness and this was an opportunity to sit down with them and face them fully. This isn’t the easiest task; however, it has to be done. Here the requirement is to be cognizant of the arising pain and be with it as much as you are capable of. Every minute counts and expands your awareness, despite the fact that your mind is trying to convince you otherwise.

Also, sitting consciously with our pain is extremely challenging every single time, no matter how many times we have done it. And it isn’t just one pain that has to be confronted, but many kinds of patterns of pain have to be completely seen and realized. Therefore, another requirement is to be aware that you will have to face more than one pattern of hurt, for that reason the requirement is to be okay with repetition. There was a period of time when the releasing was constant, and I couldn’t see the results of my transformation for a long while so don’t let that discourage you. Trust the process and its timing.

Another requirement of the dark night is to stay open to the pain that is beginning to resurface. Sometimes when we feel uneasy or detect some heaviness in our chakras, we tend to run away from feeling it, and when that happens we grab some substance to seek immediate relief. Hence, before satisfying the urge, be with the pain first at least for a minute or two, and then do whatever it is that you help yourself with.

All of the mentioned requirements won’t be easy to master right away. You will most probably fail at first attempts, but as that transpires, be as kind and gentle to yourself as you can be in that moment. Remind yourself that it is a new practice for you. A new style of life is coming your way and no matter how painful it seems, getting through that pain, will be well worth it.

Eight Stages of the Dark Night of the Soul

Here are essential stages of the dark night of the soul that I have discovered within my own experience:

  • Triggering Event

A significant, supernatural intervention occurs characterized by infusions of love and light, or an event of unexpected suffering.

  • Descent

A sudden descent into the dark night of the soul takes place. It is a very unexpected shift from regular consciousness required for participating in life into a state of temporary disconnection and isolation.

  • Revealing of Ego Fragmentation

As our normal state of consciousness dissipates, and we temporarily lose access to it, what comes to the forefront are our fragmented parts, along with their pain. They become more visible and detectable by our body and psyche.

  • Purging

After a time of connecting to the unhealed parts, a period of intense purging begins.

  • Contemplation

Contemplation comes in many moments, however whenever we release something, we become extremely and unusually aware of how a particular pain was appearing and interfering with our happiness. In that instance we get a glimpse into our new future. Also, we see with clarity our old unconscious patterns and feel the relief that comes with the understanding that they will no longer be a part of our new healed version.

  • Void

After experiencing the hardship of feeling fragmented, connecting to the suffering parts, having purged them, and become aware of them fully, we enter the void. We aren’t fully connected to reality by our sensory faculties yet, this is where we prepare to receive a new identity in the form of downloads, also slowly we regain energy necessary for regular activities.

  • Downloads

We are being reintegrated into reality and at the same time receiving new downloads which are going to serve us in the following stage; we acquire an undiscovered yet sense of resilience and power. Sometime during this stage we might not sleep a lot. Our brains are adopting to the newly acquired vibrations, for that reason we might we up at night.

  • Increased Awareness

A newly expanded awareness and courage is being established to consciously face and heal previously unnoticed hardships and traumas, or if it is the last dark night of the soul, we attain a state of enlightenment.


Naturally, we have a tendency to be bothered and be absorbed by negativity. This natural inclination has its purpose. It is a doorway to enlightenment. It requires a lot more energy and will power to overcome an inclination to ruminate in suffering or projecting/discharging it onto someone else. This is actually the gift of the dark night, a new sense of awareness and power to confront and conquer pain instead of letting it spread within or without. Being able to go within is an admirable skill, the ability to be able to notice uncomfortable illusions, hold them within, examine, and transmute them. This conscious effort breaks an inherent vicious cycle of continual misery. In reality, feeling pain is an opportunity to see what energies dominate and restrict us from achieving a higher form of happiness and a sense of fulfillment. For this reason, those who experience the dark night are privileged. However, it is hard to hold this understanding once a person is going through it.


The Meaning of Free Will in the Dark Night of the Soul

From many angles one can argue about the meaning of free will and what role it plays as we journey through life. We are constantly faced with having to make decisions. And from as far as I can remember, I wandered about the inner deciding factor that is in charge of choosing. Where is that inclination to act one way or another coming from? And most importantly, why do we tend to wonder in the direction of suffering even when we desire otherwise? I spent a fair share of my time on getting acquainted with the dark night of the soul and as I dwelled in it and observed its mechanics and follow unreasonable to my mind instructions, it became obvious that during the periods of purging and contemplation, free will plays a crucial factor.
The dark night of the soul is a transformative process. It is one of the rites of passage in which you are transmuting the building blocks that make the very painful essence of who you are. It is a restorative process of every energy system inhibiting your body that dictates how much energy flow there is into your whole being, and also projecting itself outwardly. It is a monumental change from within.
As you are laying lifeless and dealing with insurmountable amounts of physical pain and suffering penetrating your whole being, and as you are cut off from the external world, it will seem to you that you have a very little impact on what is happening to you. This however couldn’t be further away from the truth. The bouts of tearing you apart play an important role, because in that very excruciating moment you are engaged in the act of choosing to transmute past hurts. Deep inside by choosing to experience your pain fully, you have chosen to purge it so it could leave your system. By facing the suppressed and unacknowledged parts of yourself, the source of severe misery and misfortune, you are using your free will. You are constantly choosing love over any lower frequency.
Especially during this process, you are demonstrating the strength to liberate yourself from any form of dissatisfaction, be it health, relationships, your self-esteem, or anything else for that matter. True free will is choosing to see what is hurtful and not letting it spread within or without, but having enough power to stop it in its tracks and transform it. According to me, this is the true meaning of free will.


The Dark Night of the Soul in Spiritual Awakening

The spiritual awakening is the most extraordinary process one can undergo, where profound changes occur transforming the quality of human existence. There are many various phases to a spiritual awakening and one of them, the most mystical and challenging to endure, is the dark night of the soul. There is some information on the topic that is briefly shared regarding the hardships associated with it. However, I have noticed that the struggle one has to go through is not conveyed enough to depict its unfathomable depth which I have experienced myself.

During the spiritual awakening, there are many dark nights that can take a hold of a person. Each has a specific goal and is responsible for healing a particular sphere of life. It is impossible to pinpoint how long the shadowy and gloomy periods can last, even though this is the very first question the mind poses, since the discomfort is grand and characterizes itself by being suddenly removed from a very familiar routine and the way of going about life, and instead being placed in a quite unusual state that does not follow everyday habits and customs.

There, we can follow a few rules, and those are the ones dispatched from the divine realms, which one way or another, find its way to provide guidance and support through rough patches occurring along the path. What is significant to mention is the intensity of this phenomenon. There are various kinds of potency this process can impose. The easiest and the shortest way to illustrate the intensity is by observing how much life force is being removed from the usual life we previously had. In some dark nights we might still hold a job, but once getting home, the hermit mode takes over, which translates itself into having a limited amount of energy because a big chunk of it is directed into all-consuming contemplation without us realizing it. In other instances, we must be entirely dedicated to this inner transformation by relinquishing almost everything we had managed to accomplish, and spent full days, months or even years to examine all the raw materials we were previously creating our life with.

Connection – My Favorite

I mention a lot in my posts about the processes of transmutation and harmonizing. These are general terms and anyone can interpret them in whatever way they want. Words are contractual and can have many different meanings depending on a person and their experiences.

So, what is it that we are actually harmonizing and transforming here? What is the purpose of realizing our unconscious patterns and healing them? What is the end result of our awakening.

The simple answer is : connection.

I recently was talking to a friend and during our conversation it dawned on me that in good measure I used to watch movies in order to be a witness of a healthy family dynamic or to even, through the screen, observe a pretty happy human interaction. I was lovingly looking at the connections between the characters no matter what relationship they had, since positive aspects appeared more often there than in real life. On screen, either a beautiful connection and collaboration was present in the beginning, and got interrupted because of some unfortunate incident, yet always there was a definite reconnection; forgiveness or strengthening of a bond. Or if the characters disliked each other initially, later through intricate circumstances, the understanding came with reconciliation. This kind of dynamic of surviving conflicts and challenges and coming out of them more connected, I favored the most.

Before the pandemic, on occasions when I facilitated group alignments, the part when the gathering of people reached the place of universal connection, I came to a realization that it was the very same moment I had an appreciation for in films. It is the phenomenon when the ego is taken out of the way, and we can experience deeper connection, see more vividly in another and in ourselves aspects that bring us closer, honor and enjoy each other in a new, refreshed light.

I strongly believe that life is about establishing such kinds of bonds. Life is about connecting in kindness, cooperating together and supporting one another. Additionally, what is also significant is the quality of our intention before we try to connect.

Divine connection to yourself and with others is the goal here.

When the divinity is absent, there is no end to the stories when ego turns into a frenzy.

Another point that we touched upon in the same conversation with my friend regarded narcissistic patterns and behaviors. Both of us dealt with abuse and had relationships with individuals who suffered from this disorder. If I hadn’t experienced abuse on my own skin, I wouldn’t know now how harsh and challenging liberation from such enslavement really is.

If we ever want to create a healthy life, we have no other way but to confront our weaknesses or aggressive patterns. Only through healing we can rediscover our humanity so we could live together in harmony more often if not all the time.

I have dedicated years to my own healing so the moments I would create would be of quality. If not for others, then at least for me. I did it by looking constantly within, so my suffering, or the suffering of others wouldn’t reign my existence. However, now that I have reached that good place of emotional freedom, I realize that the time has come for me to share what I have gone through and learned. When I was “fighting” to discover my divine self, it seemed that no one else had the slightest idea of what I was going through. We all know suffering, yet for many reasons we want to stay away from it, because we don’t realize the power it bestows upon us.

Individually and collectively, we are engaged in the process of abandoning the victim – perpetrator relationship, this time not by walking away from it, but by mustering more power to stand up to it, to be wiser and stronger than manipulation born from suffering itself.

It is a sad reality that we have to stand in the spiritual ring with our loved ones, our family members who supposed to be so close to us, yet during the awakening they are not. What temporarily separates us are unhealed mental and emotional constructs. Despite this painful disconnection, the real hope of mending the broken bonds, lies in miracles available in healing and transformation. It does not matter how long we have suffered and who has hurt us. If you decide to engage in our own healing, life is going to make up for all those painful relationships we experienced before the awakening.