From many angles one can argue about the meaning of free will and what role it plays as we journey through life. We are constantly faced with having to make decisions. And from as far as I can remember, I wandered about the inner deciding factor that is in charge of choosing. Where is that inclination to act one way or another coming from? And most importantly, why do we tend to wonder in the direction of suffering even when we desire otherwise? I spent a fair share of my time on getting acquainted with the dark night of the soul and as I dwelled in it and observed its mechanics and follow unreasonable to my mind instructions, it became obvious that during the periods of purging and contemplation, free will plays a crucial factor.
The dark night of the soul is a transformative process. It is one of the rites of passage in which you are transmuting the building blocks that make the very painful essence of who you are. It is a restorative process of every energy system inhibiting your body that dictates how much energy flow there is into your whole being, and also projecting itself outwardly. It is a monumental change from within.
As you are laying lifeless and dealing with insurmountable amounts of physical pain and suffering penetrating your whole being, and as you are cut off from the external world, it will seem to you that you have a very little impact on what is happening to you. This however couldn’t be further away from the truth. The bouts of tearing you apart play an important role, because in that very excruciating moment you are engaged in the act of choosing to transmute past hurts. Deep inside by choosing to experience your pain fully, you have chosen to purge it so it could leave your system. By facing the suppressed and unacknowledged parts of yourself, the source of severe misery and misfortune, you are using your free will. You are constantly choosing love over any lower frequency.
Especially during this process, you are demonstrating the strength to liberate yourself from any form of dissatisfaction, be it health, relationships, your self-esteem, or anything else for that matter. True free will is choosing to see what is hurtful and not letting it spread within or without, but having enough power to stop it in its tracks and transform it. According to me, this is the true meaning of free will.