Getting back to writing has not been the easiest. I was dreaming about this moment for many years… the moment when the intense releasing would end and everything I have lived through spiritually made sense and I would be given an okay to resume activities that gave me joy once before.
During the dark nights of the soul, when your entire inner existence is spinning inside you, and you are not sure who you are exactly, when you lose touch with yourself and your purpose seems so remote, that is not exactly the ideal moment to begin new endeavors. Because, as you are going through the inner torment, and the strong spiritual winds whirl around, just like in the case of a natural disaster, let’s take a tornado for example, as you stay hidden in shelter, you wonder what you are going to encounter remaining once the occurring calamity ends. The very same applies to a spiritual upgrade. So much has to be taken away from your old identity and be in some sense destroyed so the new you could emerge. Without a doubt it is an emotional shocker. Quite quickly you have to part with what was gone, assimilate the loss and acknowledge whatever you are left with in order to start building yourself again.
Before my process was over, when I would sit down to write, I would see many old strong nagging patterns showing up inside of myself and whispering that it was a futile attempt, that my voice was not worth anything, how could I ever think that expressing myself might have taken me anywhere, it had been a long time since I wrote anything so for that reason too, every word was nonsensical, and most probably there were many grammatical mistakes, that I was too scatterbrained and perhaps dumb to spot them. Let’s see what else? As I was naming every single whisper that was trying to stop me from what I vaguely recalled as my passion, these ridiculous convictions I was calling out, that had kept me enslaved for so long, were almost immediately losing their hold on me as I typed. These days I call them “whispers”, however, they used to be my firm beliefs. As of today, because of my awakening process they have lost its strength and eventually its grip on me.
And that is another proof and a valid observation that spiritual processes do pay off, and they do help you manage and dissolve the darkness that keeps us at bay always with dangerous clouds above us, and never out sailing on deep waters with the sun out.
Today I am realizing something too, and that is how I am supposed to write, not as I, Anna, but rather on behalf of this POWER that I have the potential to distribute and channel to other people. I would like to write about this POWER, the power responsible for balance, for homeostasis of our bodies, our intellect, and emotional well-being. Well, I am not sure if I can say that IT is responsible for the balance of our existence, the most correct way of saying it, would be that this is a SOURCE to which we all can connect to if we choose to. We are the ones responsible for the desire to establish this exceptional connection. It is up to us from what source we are going to get our energy supply. Hopefully humanity will choose the one which enlivens and enriches our lives. We all have the power and the choice to choose. And from what I have experienced so far, some of us are given the possibility of undergoing a profound transformation to always have access to the power govern by equilibrium. The question is if you will accept the invitation.