Whatever I am going to write today is going to be relevant and important no matter the time or the date because what I am going to describe here will be repeating itself. As a side note, my ego at some point  had a very bad relationship with repetition. It thought that repeating oneself was ridiculous and useless in some sense. Well, now thankfully I have changed that and my being fully integrated to honor the motion of reiteration in ways I will try to do my best to describe here.

This has happened many times already, and as this spiritual phenomenon keeps on taking place, it never gets old. So, this is how we are being upgraded by the ascension energies coming to Earth.

We are being balanced and healed through light codes, through light energy which increase our awareness and make the ones who are chosen and ready for it more sensitive to their pain and suffering. The energy of light descends upon us, and it penetrates our energetic body. During this process we tend to experience what I would describe as temporary enlightenment, the potential energy we can align ourselves with. Through this illuminating divine intervention, suddenly, and very distinctly, we realize that everything about us is being enhanced: any kind of suffering is being wiped out of our system and we just sit in awe appreciating love, peace and wisdom which inhibit our physical senses, as well as emotional and intellectual perceptions. We are powerfully connected to the present moment and we perceive ourselves and everything else as whole, beautiful and worthy. What a delightful state of being that is. Depending on what specific upgrade is being installed, the sensations can vary.

I’ve had a privilege of noticing and experiencing many, however, the most recent one was as if new sort of unconditional love I’ve never got a chance to feel, was being poured into my heart and was spilling, deliciously filling every corner of my being. At a later time, after many weeks of connecting to and purging pain, the very loving sensations permanently populated my being. That moment felt like achieving unprecedented victory. It was a long-awaited and simultaneously unexpected moment that had to be taken all in and celebrated by fully feeling it. I stopped whatever I was doing to allow myself to feel the superb ecstasy.

Quite frankly, this is the part that everyone is looking forward to, the enlightenment!!! This is the very moment I am looking forward to as well, because in that state I can be and do it all. Creativity, productivity, energy, these are the goodies we all want, these are the goodies we are all praising – the super human potential providing luminous abundance.

But what happens after isn’t usually spoken enough. Somehow the next phase is hugely disregarded, and even when I want to write about it, I am postponing it. I have been postponing it throughout this entire day, and even now, instead of describing it in the very beginning of this post, I am a bit apprehensive about it. In fact, I promised myself that this post would be 400 words long and at this point I am 61 past my set limit, and yet I haven’t mentioned a word about what I was supposed to write about initially.

The part that keeps on constantly coming back, and I am so reluctant to write about, is the part associated with our fragmentation. Shortly after the light fills our being, we are becoming aware of the pieces of ourselves that are painful, weak and hold us back from another, higher form of fulfillment. It feels as if we had reached the top, and quickly tumbled down all the way to the bottom. From a superb connection to the present moment where all the best in us and outside of us was enhanced and beamed with light, we fall into a dark pit. The light is being turned off and we are surrounded with darkness. We only make a connection with the painful parts that remain in us, adding to it, even our surroundings hurt immensely. Not only do we detect nothingness which blinds our potential, but our inner resources that make us interact with the world – all of them are gone, and in their place, lower vibrations are beginning to seep through. Fear steps in and even the friendliest soul is being temporarily deemed as frightful. In hindsight, being at the bottom, alone and stripped away from everything is not that really horrible comparing it to an additional nightmarish feeling of non stop standing at the edge of a dark cliff and knowing that any second some movement could push you into the abyss. This was at least my experience. Whenever you think things couldn’t get worse, the inevitable does come your way. This was difficult to get through.

I know that this is just a brief description of a complex experience. Living it is another thing. Surviving it in solitude without numbing it as well is also something remarkable. One day love beams through you and another day you have to allow whatever was obstructing that love to thrive in you die. And that process of being aware of your painful aspects dying, is awful. To be alive, yet at the same time allow some parts of you die, was the most challenging undertaking I was ever faced with.

I have been through this process many times and after a great many trials of the dark night, when its effects began to loosen up, I emerged from it with a strength which allowed me to have an upper hand over my or anyone else’s suffering. Receiving strength which doesn’t bow or isn’t consumed or contaminated by pain, is in fact one of the highest achievements I am immensely grateful for.